im Hurting!

 I honestly dunt know y im still here…I dunt know watz keeping me here…y hv i not ended it yet?…Im so sick of feeling diz way…I want 2 cry,i want 2 scream,i want 2 stop de pain,i want 2 cut myself until de physical pain drowns out d emotional.I want it over! I want diz pain 2 end!!

 I worry so much wif wat im going through..I want 2 b more open wif how im feeling…but smething inside me is keeping me from doing so.I juz want 2 hug some1 n cry until i feel btter…I cant do either…I haven’t had a gud cry in a long tyme…I dunt think i even rmmber how.I juz want de pain 2 go away…people keep telling me im a strong person but i dunt c it. If they REALLY knew me they would know dat isn’t true.Im tired of faking a smile,a laugh, dat evrything is ok wen im being held 2gether by cheap tape dat is barely doing de job.Im afraid 2 trust any1,i dunt trust myself n itz very hard 4 me 2 trust others…

 Each year my sadness grows even more n i bcome even more broken inside…i juz want it over!!!…I hv nthing keeping me here…I know dat i stil hv 2 deal wif evrything else dat pains me,i wish i wasn’t alive…I want de pain 2 stop!!!….I want 2 cry….I want it all over!!!…but…I never get my way…L